EILEEN: what jenny said
I should be packing my suitcase. I leave for Ireland tomorrow(with my computer. I'm going to work on poor dear Dee as I've come to think of her). Instead I read Jenny's post on character and found myself asking the same questions she did. I, of course, think Dee does have a "sucky" and "suckier" choice. Either fade away as the responsible adult wihtout surcease for the rest of her life, or succumb to her aunt and have her soul sucked out--along with her sisters' souls. She really doesn't see a way out. Of course, Danny IS the way out, but she's too afraid to consider that. After all, if she just runs off with him, she leaves her sisters vulnerable, and if at this late date she decides to do that, then she feels she's betrayed everything she's sacrificed for all these years.
And yes, there is a whiff of martyr in her. It's an intrinsic part of Oldest Sister Syndrome. I know, because I am one(a sister. Not a martyr. I'm much too selfless for that.....). In my family, we actually have an Oldest Sister Society, in which only the oldest daughter of each family is invited. Because, of course, nobody understands what we've had to sacrifice but us. As the oldest sister, I think Dee wouldn't be surprised that Mare doesn't really have too sucky of a choice. After all, isn't the youngest child the spoiled one? Doesn't she always get everythikng she wants? That's sure the way of it MY family. And all the oldest sisters gather together and talk about it.
I know. I started talking about a writing exercise and ended up extolling the virtues of the oldest born. That's because I plan on thinking about the exercise more tomorrow after I'm packed, my cat's been fed, my plants watered, my various old people soothed and, my passport clutched tightly in my hot little hand, I settle into eight uninterrupted hours. Alone. With no phone. No emergency calls. No friendly calls that seem to go on for hours when I don't have the time. No business calls that are only made to request somethign I don't have time for.
But I will have time for blogging. When I find a cybercafe. So I can keep an eye on that Mare. Cause as a youngest child, you just don't know what she's gonna get up to. Now, if she were just like Lizzie.....
Eileen
P.S. We're going back to New York! We're going back to New York!! Somebody should warn them.
And yes, there is a whiff of martyr in her. It's an intrinsic part of Oldest Sister Syndrome. I know, because I am one(a sister. Not a martyr. I'm much too selfless for that.....). In my family, we actually have an Oldest Sister Society, in which only the oldest daughter of each family is invited. Because, of course, nobody understands what we've had to sacrifice but us. As the oldest sister, I think Dee wouldn't be surprised that Mare doesn't really have too sucky of a choice. After all, isn't the youngest child the spoiled one? Doesn't she always get everythikng she wants? That's sure the way of it MY family. And all the oldest sisters gather together and talk about it.
I know. I started talking about a writing exercise and ended up extolling the virtues of the oldest born. That's because I plan on thinking about the exercise more tomorrow after I'm packed, my cat's been fed, my plants watered, my various old people soothed and, my passport clutched tightly in my hot little hand, I settle into eight uninterrupted hours. Alone. With no phone. No emergency calls. No friendly calls that seem to go on for hours when I don't have the time. No business calls that are only made to request somethign I don't have time for.
But I will have time for blogging. When I find a cybercafe. So I can keep an eye on that Mare. Cause as a youngest child, you just don't know what she's gonna get up to. Now, if she were just like Lizzie.....
Eileen
P.S. We're going back to New York! We're going back to New York!! Somebody should warn them.
posted by Eileen Dreyer at
4/24/2006 10:56:00 PM
7 Comments:
When I got to the "eight uninterrupted hours" I started to hyperventilate. I think I'd commit a capital crime for 8 uninterrupted hours.
I'm an oldest sister...it sucked. I'm the oldest of nine. At 51 our immediated family includes spouses current and ex, children, children by marriage, spouses of the children, assorted boyfriends and girlfriends of the children and children of some of those children. Some 50 odd of us in the immediate group without the in-laws.
They still call to ask me to break the ugly news in their lives to the rest of the family. I say "no"...I quit actually being the messenger years ago. It doesn't stop the phone calls.
Maybe I'll go to Ireland. We aren't Irish, we're Italian, but if I get those 8 uninterrupted hours...
"After all, isn't the youngest child the spoiled one? Doesn't she always get everything she wants?"
LOL! I'm the middle sister, but growing up I always thought this was true!
I'm the youngest, but I have a brother, no sisters. I'm wondering if that still counts.
And I don't necessarily think of myself as spoiled. I prefer to think that I deserve what I get, and therefore have a right to be upset when that doesn't happen. And if anyone thinks otherwise, they're doody-heads, and I'm TOTALLY telling Mom. :)
I love reading about these issues of motivation & character. It's changing how I read books, and how I think about writing. Thank you so much for sharing.
Whoops, accidentally posted my comment to the wrong entry. Sorry about that!
Hmmm. I'm the oldest sister AND the middle child. Let me tell you....I'm a martyr AND completely selfless.
Sibling psych can take a lifetime. I'm still trying to figure out how the 3 of us were raised by the same parents. It sure doesn't sound like it when we remember events passed.
lbooth
cherrybomb
I'm an oldest. There were only two of us in the house. My younger brother ALWAYS got everything he wanted. It sucked, for me. But then again, he always got me out of trouble, because he learned early on that if I was busted, there was nobody for him to play with.
I watch my oldest now, Gret. She's almost 14. She has five younger siblings. She is SO an oldest sister. That's why she's the one I talk about the most, I think. She's just so awesome. So maybe the baby gets a lot, but this mother's heart was enchanted by the first born. Not that I don't adore them all, but that oldest one... yeah, she's the stuff.
The comments about the youngest reminded me of a movie I just saw "The Family Stone". The youngest was played by Rachel McAdams. It was like watching my baby in 20 years. (shudder) I mean, she was a brat, but everyone just adored her. That's my baby. Every single one of the kids, except the baby, said the same thing. Ahhh, family dynamics. They're so much fun!!
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